My balls are so social today.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
