Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
