I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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