a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
