I've blown a few things in my day
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have aggressive nipples.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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