i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize