I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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