just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Enjoy the penises
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
