hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
