I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
