I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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