you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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