Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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