That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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