9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
