No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
