I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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