I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize