Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
