wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
