break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
