i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
