good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize