i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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