Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize