I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
