new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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