i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
