Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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