Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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