I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
