Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
