idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
