Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
