Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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