yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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