She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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