There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
your room smells of hookers.
And success
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize