so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
