so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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