I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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