i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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