i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
