I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
