its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
