we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
