glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
