Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
