I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
