I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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