Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
