Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
