The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
