Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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