Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
