it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
