Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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