Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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