I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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