We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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