O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
