: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The adults are the big ones right?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
