week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
what is it with giant penises always finding me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
